State Parks Commissioner Issues "Professional Appearance Policy"

Frankfort, KY – Kentucky Parks Commissioner George Ward has announced
a new "professional appearance" policy. He's informed park
managers at fifty state parks and historical sites that
employees must keep their hair clean and trim, which means
above the collar for men.

The employees will also be required to cover all tattoos with
long sleeves or bandages, if necessary. They will also be
required to remove visible body piercings. Women employees
will be allowed to wear ear rings in the lobes.

Ward also wants shirts tucked into pants at all times. He says
failure to comply with the new policy is "clearly insubordination."

The Fletcher Administration has already fired the manager of
Kentucky Dam Village State Resort Park, claiming that the
manager, Brian Roy, had failed to account for 114 rounds of free golf.
Roy, who is a Democrat, claims his firing was politically motivated and
is currently appealing his dismissal.